Stage Four: Chemo and Radiation

In all the streams we have fly-fished chest-high
we have felt the water's apathy in being
a stream as if it would be just as at-home
in a mountain mist or a glacier or an elephant.
Being seventy-five percent water
you now have that same feeling:
should this stream of a body dry up
you could be just as happy in another place.
But think of all the campfires we have watched,
the last blue flame tussling with the embers
drawign from, say, Polaris, wanting to stay
fire--not light nor heat nor smoke--
as if a heart were beating inside it.
Sitting dizzy in a drizzle of a dream
we always stayed awake, never doused a flame.

[Joseph Caruso]

Ignatian Freewriting

Using stream of consciousness writing, I let my pen and spirit guide me without worrying about forming complete thoughts or sentences. Before starting, I ask God for the light of the Holy Spirit to see through God's eyes and feel with God's heart.

1. Jesus, thank you for loving me through these gifts of today...

2. Jesus, these events/experiences have affected me in a real/significant way today...

3. This is how I have been attentive to you...

4. Jesus, I'm sorry for the following ways that I have not been responsive to you...

5. Jesus, this is how you'd like me to be attentive to you, and to work with you, in the coming day...

Tiny Candle

Tiny candle,
speak to me of the love of God.

That love, that flame
dances upward and outward,
yet is rooted deep within.

Now it warms and tenders,
Now it sears and pains,
but always it is Light.

Light that sometimes burns so
brightly it blinds -
and is called "Darkness."

Yet, when welcomed, it
transforms, impels,
embraces all of life
and everyone.

[Jeanette Schutte, PHJC]